The Strange Tale
of the Pied Piper of Hamlin Town
Adapted by Joe Thompson

Father:
Once upon a time a long time ago. . .

Daugher:
I’ve heard this one.

Father:
How do you know you’ve heard it?

Daughter:
It starts “Once upon a time”

Father:
They all start “Once upon a time.” Now where was I?

Daughter:
“Once upon a time”

Father:
Right. Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a city named Hamlin And the Mayor of the city called a meeting.

Mayor:
Attention my fine good city sons.

Woman:
And daughters.

Mayor:
Yes and daughters. As your Mayor it is my duty to (sees mouse) ahhhh. uhhh where was I?

Assistant:
(Whispers)

Mayor:
Right. It is my duty to uhhhh - do my duty. Yes that’s it. And it shall be done, My duty that is. Are there any questions?

Reporter:
Yes. What are you talking about?

Mayor:
I have no Idea. But that is what I have assistants for.

Assistant:
The Mayor just pointed out that Hamlin town –

Mayor:
That’s where we live.

Reporter:
That’s headline news.

Assistant:
Is the best place in the world to live.

Woman:
Ahhh. Another mouse. I hate mice. I hate them, hate them, hate them!

Reporter:
But what about the problem.

Mayor:
Problem? We have no problems. It is against the law to have problems. Isn’t it?

Assistant:
No sir.

Mayor:
Well that’s a problem.

Woman:
Ahhhhh. Another stupid mouse. Sir what about the mice? Can’t we do something about the mice. That was why you were elected.

Mayor:
Yes well, Mice – I see. Mice. Did they vote for me?

Assistant
The mice sir. You know, the little mice that scurry everywhere and get into everything. We can’t seem to get rid of them.

Mayor:
Well lets hear from our secretary of mice control.

Secretary of mice control:
Sir the little mice scurry everywhere and get into everything. We can’t seem to get rid of them.

Mayor:
That was helpful. Can we make mice illegal? Tell them they have to leave town? Hang out a proclamation.

Secretary of Mice control:
We tried sir. But they can’t read.

Mayor:
Aha. That’s the problem. We need to have mandatory reading classes for the mice. Teach them to read. Then they will be able to read the proclamation. Then they will leave town. How about that?

Woman:
That’s a pretty bad idea.

Assistant:
Yes sir it is.

Secretary:
Pretty bad.

Mayor:
Why?

Reporter:
Mice can not read.

Mayor:
But if we teach them?

All:
Mice can’t read!

Woman:
How about cats.

Mayor:
Well I know that cats can’t read.

Woman:
Why don’t we get cats to eat the mice?

Secretary of Mice Control:
We tried that. But the cats were very finicky. They wouldn’t eat the mice they only wanted canned food.

Reporter:
Are you saying there is no solution to the mice problem?

Assistant:
No he is not saying that. The mayor has a plan.

Mayor:
I do? What is it?

Assistant:
It’s a secret.

Mayor:
Well it must be a pretty good secret. I haven’t even told myself.

Assistant:
And he will announce it at the beginning of the festival tomorrow.

Secretary of Mice Control:
Oh good.


Daughter:
Oh what was the secret? A secret plan to get rid of the mice?

Father:
Well, the fact is there wasn’t one.

Daughter:
Well what is he going to do?

Father:
They didn’t know. But they met that night to discuss the problem.

Mayor:
All this fuss about mice. Mice mice mice. It makes me crazy. (sees mouse) arghhh What if we buy them all tickets to another city? (to mouse) Get off me

Pied Piper:
Excuse me.

Assistant:
Not now.

Pied Piper:
But I think I can help you.

Assistant:
We don’t need pipers. The festival has all the musicians it can use. Check with the next town.

Pied Piper:
But when I play I can hypnotize anything into following me.

Mayor:
Well whoop de deee. Must be good for starting parades. Do we have a secretary of parades?

Assistant:
Yes sir.

Mayor:
Sorry we already have a secretary of parades.

Pied Pipers:
Anything. Including mice. Get it. MICE. Little teeny mice. Lots of them.

Mayor:
Well that’s just stupid. Who would want a parade of mice?

Woman:
Oh that’s great, Not only can we not get rid of them, now we have them parading through town. I tell you mayor as the leader of Women United against Mice, I can only say (sees mouse) ahhhhhhhh.

Secretary of Mice Control:
Wait. You can make anything follow you?

Pied Piper:
Yes that is the point.

Secretary;
I have it. I know what to do. This man will play his pipe through the town, and he’ll make all the people who are complaining about the mice follow him to another town.

Mayor:
Brilliant!

Woman:
That’s every one in town. There wouldn’t be anyone left, not even (sees mouse) ahhhhhhhhhh

Mayor:
Ohhhh. That’s not good.

Pied Piper:
The mice. I will hypnotize the mice into following me then I will lead them to the edge of the cliff and they will all fall to their doom into the lake.

Woman:
That wouldn’t be very nice. Sort of a nasty trick on the mice isn’t it?

Pied Piper:
That’s the point.

Mayor:
Ohh of course. I get it. Good. Good. I like it.

Pied Piper:
But I don’t work for free. My fee is five thousand gold pieces.

Mayor:
Whoa. That’s a lot of money. A whole lot of money for just playing some music. The musicians union is getting out of control. No. I’m afraid I can’t spend the city son’s money-

Woman:
And the city daughters money.

Mayor:
Yes yes everyone’s money. I can’t spend it on musicians.

Woman:
No matter what it costs you have to hire this man. To get rid of the (sees mouse) ahhhhhhh.

Pied Piper:
Take it or leave it. I can solve your problem but it will cost you.

Assistant:
We’ll take it. Thank you sir and could you start immediately?

Pied Piper:
Of course.

Father:
And the Pied Piper began to play his music as he marched through the streets of the town.

Daughter:
Well I suppose that’s the end of that.

Father:
Maybe and maybe not. As the Pied Piper played, all the people of the town came out to hear him.

Woman 2:
Hey can you play anything from the Cabaret for Kids?

Kid:
Or something by Britney Spears?

Pied Piper:
I play the songs of the wind and the rain, time passing and life’s choices.

Woman 2:
I never heard of them. Have they ever had a hit?

Pied Piper:
I play songs of happiness and sorrow, today and tomorrow, the moon and the sun. And I can also play a little bit of happy birthday to you.

Father:
And as he played the mice began to follow him.

Woman2:
Look the mice are following him.

Father:
And he led the mice to the cliff.

Woman 2:
Look he’s leading the mice to the cliff.

Father:
You know you don’t really have to repeat everything I say.

Woman 2:
Sorry.

Daughter:
Well I guess that’s the end of the story.

Father:
Not really. You see when he came back to town he was a hero. Everyone cheered for him.

People cheer

Mayor:
Yes Pied, my boy you are our hero. What can we do for you?

Pied Piper:
You can pay me my gold.

Mayor:
All right everyone give me 50 gold pieces. (the town folk all walk away) Sorry pied. It doesn’t look like anyone wants to pay you. But we will always remember you.

Father:
And the pied piper was so angry that he played his pipes again and all the children in the town followed him. He took them to the mountain where a large door appeared and he took them all inside to a magical kingdom of fun and play. But the people of the town never saw their children again. The end

Daughter:
The end? What kind of ending is that. It’s sad. It’s mean and it’s --- just wrong. And nobody went after the kids or noticed what was happening? Yo, Pied Piper, get out here and bring the kids. Mayor, you come out too.
(he does) That doesn’t work. Taking kids away from their parents. Now you think of a better ending. (they start to argue) Well, fine, but you are not going home until you do.

Mayor:
Well I could pay you some of the money now and some each month. And how would you like to be in charge of playing music for our festivals?

Pied:
That would be fun. Ok. Shake.

Reporter:
Now that’s a story. Call the newspaper.

Daughter:
That’s better. And everyone lived happily ever after. The end


© Joe Thompson • www.imaginesongs.com

The poems, stories, skits and plays on this site are not public domain.
You may use them for fun or educational purposes, if you email me.
I charge no fees and have no advertisements,
so the best way to support the site is to buy a CD